How Do We Worship // Music

When I was appointed as the Worship Coordinator for our church, I actually laughed out loud. Not really in a 'ha ha' way, or even in a joyful way (as much as serving the church does bring me a lot of joy.) I was probably more comfortable in the role of Youth and Young Adults Rep (a role my husband is now doing a great job at), and Worship Coordinator was a title I believed fell about as far from my skill set and abilities as possible. I would almost feel more qualified to be the Men's Rep than the Worship Coordinator (I'm joking - mostly). 
If you can picture the laugh of Sarai when she was told she would be a mother: that's the kind of laugh that escaped from my mouth. It was a you-don't-realise-how-impossible-that-is laugh. 

But a little while before this, I had seen a post from Lisa Bevere on Facebook (around the time we were starting up EMPIRE Youth) that resonated with me so loudly that I saved it on my computer and have gone back to it routinely since then. 

“Maybe in the past there have been times you have felt unfit, but never forget this. It is GOD who makes you FIT. He does not call the qualified. HE QUALIFIES THE CALLED.”
— Lisa Bevere

So, with a bit of prayer (and a lot of encouragement), I set out to see how I could bring something different to this role. How I could do it from the abilities and gifts God had given me, and how my perspective of being completely untrained in music could be of benefit to serving the church, not only as part of the worship band, but also in leading the various bands and the church in the administration of worship. 

We are in the process of exploring as a church who we are, and what we believe. For me, in this role I'm still learning to do well, a big part of this is how do we worship?

I have a bit of a series of blogs brewing in my heart about the different ways we worship (because one benefit of having a non-musical Worship Coordinator is that they might also worship God in very non-musical ways) but to start with, let's look at music.

One of the practical things we have been doing is to find out the music people love to worship to. This comes as part of a balancing act: the focus should not be on us and what we 'like' or creating a culture where people are only happy to worship if they know (and enjoy) the songs, or the way they are being sung. But for most people, I believe there are certain songs that speak their heart, their love of God, and release an ability to worship in a way that is personally more powerful than others. Seeking out these songs has been a process of joy and I'm hopeful and prayerful that it will lead us into a place where we, as a church, can worship wholeheartedly throughout the entire worship portion of the service. Why? Because as we begin to consciously realise that through certain songs we are able to express our worship in a deeper way, we might also realise more profoundly that this is also the case for others. Through this, I really believe, we can find joy in, and worship along with, the heart cry of others even through a song we don't know or particularly find inspiring or relevant to our personal experience with God. I believe that when we see and hear the people we love - our family - worshipping God through words or a melody we aren't familiar with, it stirs up something in us and we want to join together with them.

One of the things I have learnt over the last few years is that I can choose to worship through a song I don't know (or can't sing well) or I can let my heart grow hard against it. But if I choose not to worship in these moments that don't fit my idea of 'worship' then I am basically making worship about my own experience, my own encounter with God, and wanting to bring Him to my level rather than being able to stop and see Him in a new way. I've practiced over time being able to enjoy worship even when I don't know the words. Many years ago, I met a young man who would routinely sit down during the worship session at our big, Pentacostal church in Canberra. I'm sure you can imagine that this was an unusual thing in a church largely made up of young adults to middle aged couples who really liked to worship. I can't remember if I asked him if he was okay, or how the conversation came up, but he told me that he felt free to worship in silence or in song. Sometimes he just needed to sit and listen, or sit and pray. 
In those moments, he wasn't an isolated person in a room full of worshippers. He was part of a family who were worshipping God. He just wasn't singing with his mouth. He was playing a different part in our melody to God. His heart might have been praying, or he might have just been sitting back, joining God in admiring the beautiful sound of a group of people lifting up their magnificent God in worship. There is freedom when you realise that a heart focused on God is in worship, even if the outward appearance might not be of joyful song. 

Over the last few weeks I've had the secret pleasure of sitting in the service a few times through worship when a song someone has chosen as one they love has been played. I've known who wrote that song down on their list after serious deliberation, and I've been able to quietly watch as their face lights up and they sing a song they may not have heard for many years, or one they've only ever been able to sing along to a recording of, because it was written quite recently and we haven't learned it as a church. In some instances, I have never heard these songs before. I've joined in those moments with a private joy shared with God, where I really feel like I'm partnering with Him in a way I couldn't if I was able to force the production of perfect sounding music, with rules around the quota of Hymns, newly-released songs, and songs that are themed with the bible reading. If I could do this perfectly, I would probably get caught up in it. I like to do things perfectly. Instead, I get to focus on what I can do well: people and relationships. 

My role as a worshipper is to worship God. That is fairly simple. My husband's role when he is worship leading is to worship and do everything he can to make it easy for others to enter into worship alongside him, if they choose to. But my role here is different. It's very people-focused at the heart of it, at least until I begin worshipping. It's creating a culture where people are tapping into their ways of worshipping, both at church and in their personal lives. 

And I'm excited to see the ways God equips me, the very unequipped. 

Skye is our Worship Coordinator, and is exploring the beautiful challenge of how to worship when you can't even play the triangle. 

Book Review - Unseen by Sara Hagerty

Every Christmas, I crown myself the unofficial 'Queen of Christmas' as I stand back and admire how thoughtful and perfect my chosen gifts have been for their recipients. To be honest, there is a lot of behind-the-scenes information being shared to try to ensure that my gifts will really be loved, and no one else is really in the running for the title because apparently, Christmas isn't a competition. Nonetheless, I greatly enjoy claiming this title, and briefly lord it over my imagined subjects before remembering what Christmas is all about and coming back down to earth.

This year, however, I'm removing my self-assigned crown and handing it over to my sister. We stopped giving gifts a few years ago, and now I get to express my love through gifts for my nieces, but she happened to draw my name for Secret Santa this year, and the crown is officially hers because she bought me Unseen. 

Unseen

I'm not exactly sure what I expected when I first unwrapped this book. The cover was beautiful, but something in the title* misled me, and I went off down a rabbit hole, expecting it to be a gentle reminder to be happy as a quiet and humble housewife and hidden servant of God. I half anticipated ending the book feeling guilt over my love of beautifully made clothing, and I definitely thought I was going to be deleting my Instagram account.
*This possibly reveals more about my own insecurities than about the title of the book.

Despite my misconceptions, I found myself drawn to this book and its fairy-light in a mason jar hipster cover, so I began to read it in mid-January. I was in the foreword when the first wave of crazy-person, messy-sobbing tears hit me. Sara hadn't even started yet. By the end of the first chapter, I think I'd cried about five or six times. And I'm really not a big crier (at least not usually, I did cry at church last night: I blame this book, it has broken me beautifully.) 

Sara explores her journey of stepping back from an exciting ministry position into an unfulfilling retail job, and her later (and lengthy) battle with infertility in a world of women bearing babes. She shares the aloneness that brought, and the desperation that led her to seek out God in a whole new way. She began to waste time with him, something so against her nature, and let go of the endless need to earn his love and affection. She begean to learn to trade striving for his approval with sitting at his feet. 

As Sara shares her experiences of adoption and the growth from an empty womb to a family of eight, she draws beautiful parallels with the story of Mary, who poured out her life-savings in perfume on the feet of Jesus. What a beautiful waste. 
Sara explores the hidden times that God takes us into, and how her response of letting go of her ideals and performance-based expectations, and leaning only into his affection and attention, learning to be more like Mary, has reshaped her entire relationship with God.
She is no longer a slave, but a friend. 

I can't say that I am able to understand the long-drawn-out process of adoption or the heartache that comes with loving a child who is living in unimaginable circumstances on the other side of the world. I have had a comparatively brief taste of the bitterness of infertility, but I cannot comprehend the pain of living out a monthly, heartwrenching disappointment for fifteen years. It isn't a deep sense of empathy or sympathy for Sara that brought me to a raw and deep place of release while reading this book. It was the overwhelming sense that despite not knowing who I am, Sara understood me. That God had orchestrated my reading this book, and that this beautiful woman had shared her life in such a way that it would speak so deeply into my life at this time of hiddenness. In each of her words, it was like God was saying I see you. 

You don't need to be a mother to be rocked by this book. Spend some time elbow deep in washing up, or rewashing the same load of laundry you put on the day before, and this book will reach a deep cry of your soul to feel connectedness to God in those moments that seem not even to matter. Spend a few hours commuting to a job that pays the bills or provides for your family, and this book will have something for you. If you serve in your church, in any shape or form, this book will speak to your heart. 

Skye is our Worship Coordinator, and is exploring the beautiful challenge of how to worship when you can't even play the triangle. 

Empire Youth / that's my jam

A few weeks ago, our church got to celebrate launching our new youth group: Empire Youth. 

We launched with a group of leaders from our Sunday night CORE service (5pm, Sundays) and a crew of very excited youth. A lot of these guys had been coming along in term two, before our official launch, to help us build some stage decorations, dividers, and shields for our PACKS. The result was an already tight-knit group of young people who had actually built this ministry from the ground up. We were nervous and excited.

As much as it's exciting to bring youth together into one place, give them a space to connect with each other and with God in a relevant way, and be in their lives, there is another aspect to this new ministry that has had a surprising result: social justice. 

I've got to admit that social justice is my jam. Those who know me well know that I rarely am without a cause. And I dive in deep. The last time I grabbed hold of a cause with all my passion, we ended up starting a local, non-profit, handmade market and running it for almost three years. This time, I think I might be in real trouble because I've found a social justice cause that resonates so deeply with my heart.
And it is, of course, related to food. 

I really love food. And I've also experienced periods of my life where there's been just barely enough to survive on. As a uni student living in Canberra, I used to buy a few things every week: a packet of rice, a block of cheese, a loaf of bread, packet cheese sauce, and a bottle of milk. I would cook up a huge bowl of rice, mix the cheese sauce through it, and eat it with a little bit of cheese on top for lunch and dinner almost every day. Breakfast was toast and a cup of tea. As a young married couple, my husband was working a job he loved but which paid very little, while I went back to university. We lived off exactly $270 a week after our rent was paid, and this had to cover everything: bills, food, petrol for commuting to Canberra each day. We were also paying $300 a fortnight off a loan. For some reason, we didn't receive any gas or electricity bills for eight months. The week after I started back at work, our bills showed up and we were able to pay them. We stayed afloat. But I can't imagine what would have happened if my husband had lost his job or if I hadn't had the option of going back to work.

Our church partners with a program called Revive, which operates out of the front of our church building and opens three days a week to meet with people from our community who are struggling. People who have run out of food or had their electricity disconnected, who have just been released from jail, or who are trying to leave abusive relationships. People who need someone to listen and to help. People who don't have anywhere else to go. 

For a while now, our dedicated volunteers have had to turn people away or close the office because the resources and food are just running out too quickly each week. They might open on a Monday with a full cupboard and with vouchers to give out, but they often go through everything in one day. The need is just so great.

When we proposed our concept for Empire Youth a few months ago, a footnote in the plans was the idea of incorporating Revive into our ministry. Instead of asking for an entry fee to cover the costs of hot chocolates, snacks and games, we provide those things for the youth and ask them instead to bring a can of food or other non-perishable food so we can donate it. 

What I had expected was to have this little tiny facet of our Youth ministry that only I really cared about. I'd expected this to be something that I would try every week to convince people was important. I thought maybe they would humour me, maybe a few kids would remember to bring donations. What I didn't expect was that with just 20 young people (youth + leaders, all under 30yrs) we would have almost 100kgs of donations in the first two weeks alone. 

What I didn't expect was a group who didn't need to be taught to think about others. I didn't expect a group of people who didn't need to experience not having enough in order to want to give to those in need. I definitely didn't expect to have leaders figuring out what they could cut from their grocery shopping in order to replace that part of their budget buying rice and canned foods for others. I didn't expect to have people researching where the best sales were each week, or thinking of different types of things they can donate to make sure that there is a good variation of options, or so that someone might be able to feed their whole family. 

In 2 Corinthians 9, it says that God loves a cheerful giver. I've never seen anyone give so cheerfully as this group of young people. You should hear the shouts as we announce how much each PACK donated. We want to be a practical church, who reaches the needs of those around us. 

This week's theme for EMPIRE is jam: because when people run out of food, often the first thing they will go to is toast. A jar of jam and a loaf of bread can go a long way for someone who is desperately hungry. Join us. Bring some jam to church. Empty your pantry of (unopened and in-date) food. Talk to the volunteers. Find out what they need. Let's be a church that welcomes strangers and feeds the hungry. 

For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me. Matthew 25:35